True love

We are having a conference here this week at YWAM. Bases from different areas of Mexico and the United states have gathered here to seek God for a week and be recharged and ready to continue the callings God has placed on our lives.

Yesterday as I was walking through the hallway of our main building, I passed by a woman that was crying hysterically, I approached her and put my hand on her back, and I asked her if I could pray for her. She looked up at me and began to explain the reason for her meltdown.

This woman and her husband adopted two children from Mexico, the older boy who is seven years old has been diagnosed with “attachment disorder”.

He was so severely abused as a child and never bonded to another human being properly. His mind is that of a 3 or 4 year old child, but his body is nearly the same size as this small-framed woman.

He acts out and has behavioral issues, some violent. She was told that there was a way that could help cure this disorder. She has strapped this boy to herself in one of those pouches you see so many mothers carry small children in. All day long he is held close to her in the hope of a bond taking place that will heal the wounds he sustained as a young boy.

As she is pouring her heart and tears out to me, I notice the bruises and scratches covering her arms. He spits on her, pulls her hair, slams his head into her face, all in an attempt to push her away as a response to the brokenness he was born into.

My heart is stirring at this point and the Holy Spirit is speaking clearly to me. I ask her if I can pray for her, and I feel God’s heart for her, for that boy, and for all of us as I had a deeper revelation through this woman’s experience.

This woman’s journey is so similar to what we humans go through with God. He longs to hold us close and heal the wounds of the things this world has injured us in. But, so many of us kick, scream, spit on, and bruise our savior. He longs to gather us under his wing and bring our hearts to the wholeness he intended, but we in our brokenness and misunderstanding push him away. Though he does not quit, he fights for us, he takes those beatings for us, his love is so pure and faithful, that he continues to hope for us and lay his own life down for our healing.

This woman spoke something so deeply about father God’s love to me. A love that refuses to quit even in the ugly parts of that relationship, a love that values it’s beloved over it’s own body, a love that sacrifices and lays down it’s own comfort for the better of the other person. True love, father’s love is what that woman is flowing out of. Though she may not be perfect in it, the closer she is to father God, the more you see that flowing out of her and into this sweet little boy who will be healed and whole in Jesus name! This sort of strength and love cannot be done apart from our father and the Holy Spirit. None of us have the capacity to love in such hard times apart from his spirit that makes us able and changes us to be more like our pappa.

In every thing that we face in life, we will come to a point where we must learn his love in order to love. In our relationships with our children, with our spouse, with friends, co-workers, family, those who persecute us… Love is not based on the person being loved, but on the lover. We love because it is who we are. And the only way to make that who WE are is to understand who HE is and being loved by him.

He is the cure to all things we face. And we WILL face those hard things. Life is not void of suffering… But, it is how we understand that relationship and dependency on him that we are able to face these mountains and hurricanes and still say, I will choose holiness, love, righteousness, and I will be JOYFUL in doing it!

He is how we can walk forward without fear! Remember that verse that says, “Perfect love casts out all fear”? Well he is that perfect love. And it is by him we can know that when a trial comes, we will make it through, because he is always with us. He is always near to us, holding us close to his beating heart, ready to bind up our broken heart and heal those wounds we are given in this life.

Walk forward with him into that deepness, that intimacy! Through that you can face anything!

The raw truth.

This morning I went to the prison that I go to weekly to, to minister to the young people that are held there. But this week something different happened.

I go there to minister to the young girls, but this week we were informed upon arrival that we would not be with the girls this week, but that there is a room full of young fathers from the prison that we will be visiting with. They were to have a course on how to be a good father.

It's very funny, because there we are, three young girls going to teach men in prison about being good men. God has a sense of humour.

Our entire plan was foiled, but that's ok, cause that is how the holy spirit is able to do his work. When we NEED him to show up.

It was a shaky start, not sure where to go with the spirit at first, I prayed and asked God to give me words, he was ever faithful to show up and give us something to talk about.

I felt the lord give me a message for these men in an instant, so I asked the girl that leads the group for permission to share what God had placed on my heart.


It was simple, I began to give a bit of my testimony, of how God has changed me and made me the woman that he created me to be. I will simply tell you what I told them:

The gospel is simple and we do not need to over complicate it. This world is full of "how to" formulas to have the life we want to have or to be the people we want to be. And yet, there are billions of people walking around so broken and without the slightest clue on how to be or do the things that they want to be and do. Maybe our formula's don't work!  I didn't want to tell these men anything they already know about what they SHOULD be doing as husbands, fathers, and men. That's just like the law, just a list of do's and don'ts that don't change us inside.

The only way that we are changed is by spending time with God, and by asking the holy spirit to change us from the inside out.


In the garden of Eden, we walked with God and were complete. When we sinned, we were separated from his presence and began to not understand how to function as a man or as a woman, nor how to relate to and treat each other and our children. But that is the mystery of what Jesus did when he died on the cross. He died to make things right between us and God and to give us the HOLY SPIRIT. To return us to a state that is truly even better than the garden. No longer do we just walk with God, but he lives inside of us! The holy spirit is the mystery! When we ask him to, he comes and LIVES INSIDE of us, and changes us form the INSIDE out. Fulfilling what Isaiah wrote, when God said that he would "write the law on our hearts" no longer would we do the right thing out of obligation but out of DESIRE to do it!

This is what I have experience in my own life, the holy spirit changing my DESIRES to those of my fathers, as I have asked him to come and make me like my pappa!

I told these men, that the only way they were going to become what they want to be, and treat their families the way they should is by getting closer to God.


I gave them the analogy of our relationships being like a triangle. On the two lower ends of the triangle are a man and a woman. It's a lot more difficult to understand each other and bridge that gap when a man and a woman are trying to reach each other from the lower points of that triangle. But as each person moves closer to the top (which represents moving into a deeper intimacy with God) we are brought naturally together at the point at the top.

You should have seen these men, what I felt that I saw on their faces as I spoke. It was clear that the holy spirit was moving them deeply. The hope we feel as humans when we realize that our father in heaven loves us and forgives us, and not only that but that he wants to EMPOWER us to be the creation that we long to be, is so powerful! I told them I was going to show them how simple our father is, we got in a circle, held hands and began to pray: "Father, thank you that you have given so much so that we could come to you knowing that you forgive us and except us. Thank you that you care so much about us that you want to help change us inside, and that you've given us the Holy spirit which helps change our hearts so we DESIRE and are EMPOWERED to be righteous and godly. Father I thank you that these men do not have to strive to learn how to be good men and fathers, but that when they simply come to you, you will teach them because YOU are a good man and a good father."

We should stop striving to get our lives together and simply focus our entire selves to getting closer to our father in heaven, and everything else will NATURALLY fall into place. Seem to easy? Well, that's the beauty of my God. He doesn't make it complicated! He meant it when he said "seek first the kingdom of God and ALL THESE THINGS WILL BE ADDED TO YOU"


Moving closer to our saviour, and spending time with him and letting him love on us as we love on him is the cure to life. It is the cure to the sin we struggle with.  It is the cure to the tragedies that we face (and I have had more than my share of tragedy) but I am full of JOY and LIFE because despite the way life tries to trample and break you, that relationship with God is TRULY all that we need.

As I have gotten closer to my father and worked on intimacy with him, I have become the woman that I was meant to be. I have begun to look more and more like my original design, and have naturally learned how to love the way I was meant to love. He IS the answer.


I refuse to let any other doctrine take place of the gospel, the truth. There is no cure but Jesus and the relationship we get to have with daddy.

We need only to look to him to become all that we were designed to be. To break every chain that holds us down. To have power over sin and sorrow.


He is everything.


"I believe in Christianity (Jesus) as I believe that the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else" C.S. Lewis

 
 

The cost

Today while my friend Chrissy and I were ministering inside the youth prison here in Mexico, someone broke into our car outside and stole our backpacks.

The damage?

My backpack alone had two ipods in it, my hard-drive with every picture I've ever taken on it, cell phone, passport, drivers licence, visa, ATM cards, $200.00, all my make-up/brushes (which are EXPENSIVE) car keys, and a bunch of other important things... Slightly overwhelming when I think about it...


After going through the first two steps of the grieving process, #1 Denial (My bag is not gone) #2 What-if (what if I had just left it at home) I accepted the truth that this was in fact happening.

I began to pray, because that's all I know how to do. And as I prayed  I heard lines of worship songs we were singing last night, like "Jesus, you're all I need" and "I will give you my everything" and I realized that there is a deeper thing that can take place in my heart if I let it.

The cost of following Jesus is a big one... It costs us our very lives. We are to die to and deny ourselves and follow him. I learn new and different levels of that all the time... Whether that's been learning to die to my own sin, or walk outside of my comfort zone, or losing friends that have given their lives for this gospel... There IS a cost.

Today the cost was nearly every material possession I own and all the money I have to my name. And I can honestly say that Jesus is still all that I need.

So I choose to let this take me deeper into that truth and the intimacy that comes along with it. To let this burrow a genuine walk deeper into my soul. To be tested in the things that I say and show that I mean what I say when I say that God can have my everything.

Intimacy with God

More and more I realize how the supernatural flows out of intimacy with Father God.

I used to think that I just had to work on my faith, work on learning more on the subject in order to understand it and use it to impact a starving world.

Needless to say, I wasn't getting the results I wanted. So I stopped, and I focused on simply spending time with God.

Amazing things have started happening from that place. God gave me a dream two nights ago, it was so vivid, so intense that I woke up in a sweat. I began to pray, and asked God what it meant, and he told me what it meant, and who it was for.

The next step was to tell this person I hadn't spoken to in quite some time, a dream that was rather devastating and fearful, and hope it meant something to them. Of course, it did....


This person went on to tell me things they had been keeping hidden, the weight of which is crushing them.

I got to give daddy's heart to that person.

Think about that for a minute.... God wakes me up from a dream at 4:30 in the morning in a completely different country, from a dream about someone, and then tells me what it means. I tell that person I haven't seen in a long time, and it breaks everything open.


God is a pursuer. He loves us not matter where we are at, and wants to see us walk into freedom.
I love the love that he has for us, and I love that he uses us to show that love to others.


The coolest part of the whole situation is that it didn't come out of me striving to be used, but out of a place of intimacy with my lord.


I believe all supernatural experiences come out of the intimacy. The time we spend alone with God.



I encourage you not to chase miracles, or prophecy, or spiritual gifts, or anything but the intimacy you can have with Pappa, because that is where those things naturally flow from