I think the biggest thing that has changed inside of me in the last two months, is realizing where my strength comes from, not only my strength, but my every breath.
The conditions that we've lived in the last two months have tested where we truly draw our strength and love from. Bathing in rivers, and only a couple hours of sleep a night at times among other things, eventually starts to wear on you.
As a leader I have discovered that you cannot make 16 people happy all at the same time. (Maybe that comes as a surprise to some people, hehe) Some will love the pace of ministry and work while it's killing the other half. Some may be so excited about a certain meal while others would rather die than eat it. Some may think your decision on something is right while others think you're a lunatic. But, inevitably I have been tested with my identity. Where do I draw my identity from? From what others think of me, or from my father in heaven? This has been a beautiful growing experience for me, to learn how to hear the Lord's voice and follow it no matter what that makes others think.
Yes, I'm growing up :)
I want to share a picture with you
This is a picture I took of one of my students and a homeless man. We were cleaning up the beach and picking up trash, when my student felt that she was to go tell this man that Jesus loved him.
She approached him and said, "sir, I just felt that I was supposed to come and tell you that Jesus loves you very much.
The man smiled slowly and said, "I know him... He is my friend"
My student, admittedly a little confused said to him "but, do you know he gave his life for you? Have you accepted him into your heart? Have you given him your life?"
The man smiled bigger now, and said: "My dear... I know him. I talk to him all the time. He gives me MY life."
The student walked away from him and came up to me with tears in her eyes... "I've never had as much Joy as that man... And he has nothing." I smiled, because I know this mans secret... It is the secret I have learned myself... The secret Paul learned and spoke so fondly of.
The Joy of knowing the saviour, truly knowing him. Speaking to him often, drawing our energy, strength, love from Him.
It is how one can be content with any food, any clothing, any climate. To be rich or poor, to be hungry or fed.. The secret is that it's not about any of the things of this world, but the one our hearts were made for. The Joy of knowing our Lord. I promise you that this is not a fairytale.
There is a love that is so strong, a bond between the saviour and you that is so real and intense, that being free or in prison is no matter, no earthly circumstances can shake the Joy.
It is what our hearts were made for.
I encourage you to talk to the one that brings Joy that surpasses circumstance as often as you can today, and tomorrow... and the next day. You were made for him, to walk with him and share this life with him. You will never see the beauty of that secret until you become more intimate with him.
He loves you.
