So it is to be torture?

Yes, I had a wisdom tooth removed in China.


This is an experience that all people need to have at least once in their lives.
Now, I have had some of my wisdom teeth pulled in America, so I know how the process is supposed to look by our standards. And now, I can proudly say that I have had it done here to.

For starters, I ask the doctor to prescribe me Vicodin or some kind of strong pain reliever for after the surgery. His exact words translated into English were "there's no need"

...There's a need. Trust me, there IS a need.

So, I argue with him for a few minutes and he agrees to supply me with two days worth of pain killer. I am satisfied.


He begins the process by giving me a shot... All is good except for the fact that I am not in the least bit numb. "strange" he says as he pokes me with a needle on the sides of my gum and I am jerking at the pain.

"I need more" I say

"strange" he says

So he gives me more. Now I feel a bit more numb, yet I can still tell him which side of my gum he is poking. "It should be fine he says"

well, you know how your cheek and lips get numb when they do fillings for your cavities? Nothing was numb at all like that. Not at all.

I was nervous.

He then informs me that I will feel what he is doing the whole time, just not the pain.

....Nobody wants to feel ANYTHING AT ALL when a bone is being taken from your head.

I just want it over with, so I agree to let him take it out.

Now, you see... When I had my two wisdom teeth taken out previously, they used drills and surgically removed the tooth. Well, prepare for something hilarious.


The man takes out, (GET THIS) what look like regular pliers (they were definitely meant to be used for teeth, but even still I was like..... Are you kidding?)

Then, he takes my head between his arm and his chest and begins to yank out my tooth with these pliers. No drill. No cutting. Torture.

I was trying not to laugh or cry as I was both amused and horrified.


And so he yanked, and yanked... After a minute of his grunting and sweat, the tooth is free.

It was a big little bugger... So I can imagine the size of the hole from where it came. Which horrified me as he did not stitch me up. Nope. No stitches.

"just don't eat on that side, and don't brush your teeth for a couple days"

(...)


Fine. I'm just glad it's over, so I walk out to the reception office to collect my drugs.


You want to know what he gives me for the pain I will be enduring the next few days?

3 Tylenol.

Tylenol.

...


I would like to pull some of his teeth out, and see if those tylenol help him at all...



Aside from my complaining, it was about 250.00 cheaper than it would have been to do it in the states, so as long as I don't die of infection. Good times...


The end.

All my love!

My collected funny stories

I have a notepad I keep with me at all times. There is a special pocket in my purse reserved for it, equipped with two Pens. It is the "Funny story" notepad. It is for the many times I am in class and one of my students says or does something completely hilarious, or when I will be out and about and see something so incredibly ridiculous or astonishing that I simply have to write it down, lest I forget and not be able to share it with you fine people.


the first three stories come to you from the China Daily newspaper:

In Tianjin, on a particularly cold morning, one Chinese woman could not get her car to start. She figured that the engine must be too cold. So she gathers some wood and newspaper, and set in underneath the front hood and lights it on fire. Needless to say the car exploded and was completely destroyed.

The next two stories are great because of the choice of certain words. You see, the China daily is in English, but written by Chinese. Needless to say, you get a kick out of it...

This is a story about a master who's female dog turned on him. The story reports: "A man and his dog were taking a walk, and ran into another dog, the man tried to break the fight up and the bitch bit him."

And in a VERY similar story then next day, a Chinese man tried to break up two asses.

other than the obvious....I'm wondering why nobody is telling these Chinese people that breaking up fighting animals is generally not the best idea.

Next are a few stories I've accumulated from interactions with my students:

Recently one of my students, James, asked me what we say when something is delicious. He wondered if "yummy" was ok. I told him that it was, but mostly younger children would say "Yummy" and we might comment on what about the food we specifically enjoyed.

He then said, "oh, ok. (pretends to take a bite) Mmm, tastes like my mom"


Today, as class was ending I asked my students what they would be doing today. Most of them gave fairly normal answers, "Homework" and "clean my room".
When I asked the last girl that was leaving the classroom, she looked down at her feet and said "look for my shoes"

It was then that I realized for the first time since class had started, that she was wearing a pair of boys tennis-shoes that were about four sizes too big.

Not to mention all of the English words that are slightly morphed and are now pronounced: "You-tubie" "facie-book" "grammers" and of course "Engrish"

Oh, and my personal favorite. When they randomly greet you on the street with:
"Hallouw????" (said like a question with the second tone)

And best annoying Chinese Phrase of the day

Q: Which direction is it?
A: 一直走出(straight down the left side, or straight down the right side, or straight down the middle)


Miss you guys!