I have a notepad I keep with me at all times. There is a special pocket in my purse reserved for it, equipped with two Pens. It is the "Funny story" notepad. It is for the many times I am in class and one of my students says or does something completely hilarious, or when I will be out and about and see something so incredibly ridiculous or astonishing that I simply have to write it down, lest I forget and not be able to share it with you fine people.
the first three stories come to you from the China Daily newspaper:
In Tianjin, on a particularly cold morning, one Chinese woman could not get her car to start. She figured that the engine must be too cold. So she gathers some wood and newspaper, and set in underneath the front hood and lights it on fire. Needless to say the car exploded and was completely destroyed.
The next two stories are great because of the choice of certain words. You see, the China daily is in English, but written by Chinese. Needless to say, you get a kick out of it...
This is a story about a master who's female dog turned on him. The story reports: "A man and his dog were taking a walk, and ran into another dog, the man tried to break the fight up and the bitch bit him."
And in a VERY similar story then next day, a Chinese man tried to break up two asses.
other than the obvious....I'm wondering why nobody is telling these Chinese people that breaking up fighting animals is generally not the best idea.
Next are a few stories I've accumulated from interactions with my students:
Recently one of my students, James, asked me what we say when something is delicious. He wondered if "yummy" was ok. I told him that it was, but mostly younger children would say "Yummy" and we might comment on what about the food we specifically enjoyed.
He then said, "oh, ok. (pretends to take a bite) Mmm, tastes like my mom"
Today, as class was ending I asked my students what they would be doing today. Most of them gave fairly normal answers, "Homework" and "clean my room".
When I asked the last girl that was leaving the classroom, she looked down at her feet and said "look for my shoes"
It was then that I realized for the first time since class had started, that she was wearing a pair of boys tennis-shoes that were about four sizes too big.
Not to mention all of the English words that are slightly morphed and are now pronounced: "You-tubie" "facie-book" "grammers" and of course "Engrish"
Oh, and my personal favorite. When they randomly greet you on the street with:
"Hallouw????" (said like a question with the second tone)
And best annoying Chinese Phrase of the day
Q: Which direction is it?
A: 一直走出(straight down the left side, or straight down the right side, or straight down the middle)
Miss you guys!
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