Snappy Rejoinders:

I read this very cute suggestion today for the questions that us foreigners are asked 10 times a day here in China. Lets spice it up a little, Right?


1. ni shi na guo ren? -where are you from?

Evasive: Guess. Where do I look like I'm from?

Nonsensical: The moon.

Exotic: Well, I live have a thailand passport, but grew up in Israel and am moving to Iceland next week.

2. Ni hui shuo hanyu ma? -can you speak chinese?

Cheeky: I can't speak any chinese whatsoever.

Modest/Moronic: I fluently speak horrible Chinese

3. Ni zuo shenme gong zuo? What kind of work do you do?

Wannabe: I am a secret agent. (Followed by a WHoooosh sound)

Liar: I'm a helicopter pilot.

4. nimen nar tianqi zenmeyang? Hows the weather in your country?

Tough. where I come from it rains bullets everyday.

5. ni de xinshui doushao? What's your salary?

Make them practice their math! "It's 10 million cents per year."

currency exchange sadist: 200 Guatemalan Quetzal per fortnight.


And finally,

How things are not exactly what they seem.

For example the phrase, "yingai mei wenti" Which is "it shouldn't be a problem"

Be on guard... on the surface the speaker calmly asserts that no problem will arise-but she/he is in fact sleuthily acknowledging that the problem will never, ever be solved.

And a variation: "wenti bu da" The problem isn't big.

It may not be big, but it will remain a problem. Assume that your wenti will remain a wenti forever, and ever, and ever.


And finally, I present to you the hardest character I have ever learned. I believe it is actually 3rd place in the list of hardest characters. It should have an equally hard/long name. Though it does not. It us pronounced "biang" and means "noodle".
It has a whopping 57 strokes and only takes 10 minutes to write. :)

Next language I learn isn't going to have tones....Or characters. I swear that.