This life of faith

These are the types of blogs I don't really like to write... It can be humbling to express need.
I often have to remind myself that God called me to this life, and he promised that he would take care of me, and that there are times that I will have to leave my comfort zone of independancy.

I'm writing this blog because I need to ask you guys for help. There have been many things that hit Nathan and I this month that we weren't really expecting, and we are in a place of great need.

There are doctors bills that came in from Nathan's fall, totalling around 800.00 that insurance didn't cover, and we have rent due on the first for 450... As well as several other very immediate needs on top of these.

I trust that God will come through on his promise to us, that being where he's called us is the right thing even if it's not always comfortable to lean on others for that support as well.

But, I want to also remind us that Jesus made some big promises, not just to those on the road serving him, "missionaries" or "disciples" if you will, but also to anyone that even gave a cup of cold water to one of them because they belonged to Jesus....  Matthew 10:42

And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.”

I want to remind us, that those who simply support missionaries, share completely in the reward as well. We missionaries NEED you guys in order to be out on the field, you guys play a VITAL role in the spreading of the gospel, the feeding and sheltering of the poor, the binding of the brokenhearted and the  freedom for the captive. 

I want to say that, because I want you all to know how big your role is in our lives as missionaries... You are indespensable. All of the body works together to do this awesome thing, and you guys are very much a part of it!

Would you pray and consider helping us out with a donation to help us through this crazy time? 

Because of the urgency of the need, going through the regular online channel would take many weeks to get to us, and so if this is something you would like to do, you could send cash/check to 100 west 35th st suite R National city, CA 91950

You can make a check out to Charissa Goode

God bless you guys!!!!

Also please remember to be praying for our big thanksgiving dinner in Tijuana tomorrow!!!! It's going to be crazy!!! I will have pics and hopefully a video up soon!

The least of these

I want to talk to you about something our YWAM base is doing this Thanksgiving.
We have a ministry here called Zona Norte, in which we go every Wednesday to the border area of TJ, and take food to feed about 250 homeless men and women that hang out in this area. Some of them are drug addicts, some of them were deported from the states, and some of them just can't find work.

Last thanksgiving we took a thanksgiving meal to them, preapring for 300 homeless men and women, and 500 showed up. So this year we are doing it again, but we are preparing for 600 instead :)

But, this year our vision is a little bigger than just giving them a thanksgiving meal to sit down to.
This year, we want to wash their hair and give them haircuts, and THEN lead them to their seat to give them a sit-down Thanksgiving meal. There is a youtube video of a ministry that's been doing something like this, that reminds me of what we're going to do. I hope to get pictures and videos of what we do that day as well, but for now, here is something to give you an idea of the impact this has on a persons heart and soul http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a6VVncgHcY

This is what Jesus would have done, and this is who he is talking about when he talks about the least of these, therefore we know that when we do this, we are doing it to him.

I plan to be one of the people that helps cut hair that day, and I'm really excited about it.

We still need to raise 1500 dollars to buy all the food and supplies to feed everyone. This is taking place in just two weeks!!!

Would you cosnider donating to this event that we are putting on? It takes about 3-4 dollars to cover one homeless person's meal and haircut. Would you consider supporting a few, or even more?

Remember what Jesus told us, "whatever you do to the least of these, you do unto me"

we can count on His promises and rewards! :)

New season

So it's been about four weeks now that Nathan and I have been in this school. We have taken a week to go in depth in each book of the bible, and now we are in Deuteronomy. God is doing huge things in both of our hearts as we study the word together. A huge foundation is being laid, and I feel like he's revealing little by little why this school was so vital for us to do.

Every Christian has questions, every Christian has things in their life that they don't quite understand. Sometimes we can go a long time before we face those questions, and when we do... it can turn our world upside down.

For me, in my life, I have experienced a large amount of tragedy... Things that wounded me deeply, and filled my heart with questions. Those questions are gently being answered by my father in heaven as I study his word. He is showing me his character, he is showing me things I have believed about him that weren't actually true. And he is filling me with hope and Joy like I've never had as he gently cleans deeper into my heart and heals those age old wounds.

Why is this important for Nathan and I to do in order to be missionaries?


Because what can we give a hurting world, if we are still hurting deeply? If there is nothing in us to pour out, how can we pour to those that are starving around us? God has made it clear to the both of us, that this process is going to take us further in being able to lead a lost world back to their father, as he leads us deeper and closer to him ourselves.

He is grinding at our hearts, stirring them up, ripping old things out, and laying a beautiful foundation to save us, and to save those around us. Because we will have more to give once we are full ourselves as well. More to give than we have ever given.... the fullness of our father.


Please pray with us as we go through this together. Pray we get all the financial support we need for this school. Pray if God is asking you to partner with us financially. Pray that we are filled with the truth in a bigger way than ever, so that we can pour out to this hurting world in a way we've never yet been able to.


we love you so much!

Nathan and Charissa

Big adventures!

Hello all my wonderful friends and family!


So, in my last post I mentioned how Nathan and I are starting a school to study the bible in-depth.
The school is nine months long, and then there is an optional outreach to a location that we haven't chosen yet.

This is a wonderful opportunity that was really just dropped in our lap, and we have really felt the Lord tell us this is his will and he has big plans through it.

I am writing today to ask you to help be a part of this adventure with us. Nathan and I need to raise 9,000.00 for this school. I know that number seems insane, but it's for a 9 month long school.

I have seen God work bigger money miracles than this, I am not worried at all that he will come through again. And time and time again he has helped through you wonderful people in our lives.


I prayed alot about weather or not we should do this school. I asked God to help give my heart peace and to confirm that this was his will. He did so, very obviously as well. I feel that the Lord has told me that this is going to be giving us the tools that we need for our next step. This is his preparation for us.

I am asking you again to partner with us and to be key players in our lives in missions. I have never been able to do it without you guys. Another thing I want to remind you, is that it's never been one person giving a huge sum of money, but rather, many of my friends giving what they could, no matter how small.


Together we can do the impossible!!!


Help us further the tools we have to take his love, word, and the gospel to all the nations!!!


With all our love,

Nathan and Charissa

The shaking of foundations

God has been doing some deep foundation shaking in the both of us for the last four months or so. 

I don't remember quite asking him to or not, but I'm not necessarily complaining either.

It's begun to make sense to me, the reason he has been working so deeply in so many areas of our hearts, namely in the area of releasing us from fears. The fear of death, pain, going without and not having enough, and fear of the unknown. He is preparing us, preparing us for who he created us to be and what he created us to do. And before we can be released into that season of our lives, he needs to rid us of our fear, because our fear would prohibit us from living in that calling to our fullest. 

The other thing that he has worked into our heart, is that he wants us to get more training. Because we will need this training for that same calling and mission. 

So here is the big news: We are entering into a nine month school of intensive study of the word. (We will still be staff here in Mexico, the school is actually here at our base.) We will go through the bible from cover to cover many times, and study it, learn to understand the culture during those times in order to better understand it, and prayerfully gain a love for his word that out-weighs those fears of death or pain, or anything else to prevent us from what he has made clear to us.

We are so excited to let him take us deeper, not just in the "study" of his word, but of knowing him deeper in relationship and letting his word soak deep into our hearts and our lives, and to transform us more into the image of our Jesus. 

Please be praying for us as we walk into this very intense season of our lives together. We want to do well and get everything that the Lord has for us in this time. 

We love you all!!!

What a ride!

Well, it's been a long time since I posted! Things got crazy before we got married, and even after!
There was a huge forest fire near the location of our wedding venue, and our honeymoon spot two days before the wedding, and God got us a place that was magnificent in time for a beautiful wedding I'll never forget! Then on our honeymoon, Nathan had a bad fall, and we spent time recovering from that. But, we had an awesome honeymoon! We got to drive up the coast and camp all the way to washington and back to Mexico! :) We also have a new kitty, which was Nathan's wedding present from me. :)

Once we got back to Mexico, it was crazy for three weeks preparing for and having a huge missions conference here, hosting 700 people! It was fun, but we are tuckered out! :)


Things are about to go back to a normal pace, which is going to be nice, and we are learning to adjust to married life and our new roles here.

God has done a lot of work in our hearts in the last few months, through books and relationships, and we are learning and growing so much.

I hope to be reguarly posting on here again all the time, now that things aren't so hectic. I've missed you all! :)


Here are some pics to enjoy from the last few months. :)

The book and its cover

One week ago, a man that I have lived and worked with for over a year, passed away suddenly. This will be a very raw post.

I am tired of being anything less than real, so this post is going to have some of the most genuine and possibly offensive truths that I’ve ever laid out.

The truth is, I misjudged him. He was my friend, yes. But, as I have discovered, we can often be most critical of those that are closest to us.

You see, in a place where we all pour out and give so much to serve our Lord and those in this beautiful country of Mexico, if you perceive someone on your team to be giving less than the “norm” or what is expected, it can be hard to not find yourself frustrated.

When I met Joshua over a year ago, I noticed the pace at which Joshua moved was less than average. I racked it up to be that Joshua was just one of those people who took his sweet time getting where he wanted to be, and doing what he wanted to do.

It really wasn’t a big deal to me, then. Until as I began to work more with Joshua, in the kitchen or on projects, I could become frustrated with how slowly he moved. It always felt like I was doing four times the work he was, and even though I often tried to just let it go, slowly something in my heart began to sneak up on me, that would deem him as lazy.

As time went by, I noticed Joshua moving slower and slower, I would watch him walk up the hill every day at such a slow pace that it would be hard to watch.

More and more I noticed that he would leave work early or come to work late. And in my heart, more and more that critical spirit labeled him things that most people would probably have agreed with. About two weeks ago, I had one of the most critical thoughts I had ever had about Joshua, this man that I called my friend, that I had laughed with and shared many stories with. This man that I’d worked so closely with for over a year. As we worked in the kitchen and he moved so slowly to cut the lettuce for our lunch, I remember thinking, “Why don’t they just send him home? He obviously doesn’t want to be here. He is a weak link in our team. We all pour out so much, and we need people who are giving their all.”

That was one of the last times I ever saw Joshua.

After a support-raising weekend, I came home and got up early on a Tuesday morning, came to work and joined in on our daily meetings here at YWAM, Mexico.

My fellow staff members seemed very solemn, we were worshipping, when I saw our base leader crying and hugging another staff member, I turned to Nathan and said, “did something happen?” He told me what he had just discovered as well, “Joshua died of a heart failure, he had an enlarged heart. His oxygen level was only 70 percent. ”

My surprise overtook me, and then, my guilt, and then my anger… “WHY DIDN’T WE KNOW HE WAS SICK?” Oh, the signs were so obvious…

As the next few minutes unfolded, the surprise and the guilt only grew. I would come to find out, that Joshua knew the whole time, that he was sick, and probably also knew as well, that he was dying. But he never told any of us.

We lived with him, we worked with him, we laughed with him, but we actually came to find out, that we knew very little about him.

About the struggle he’s endured alone for years.

A couple days later, we would hear a story that made things make so much sense.

A good friend, Rally would speak to his brother in Nigeria, and for the first time we would hear a story that fit pieces of the puzzle together, in a way I never thought would happen.

When Joshua was 5 years old, he lost his mother. When he was 11 years old, his father also passed away. It was only his older brother and him for a long time. Joshua led his older brother to the Lord, and after that shared his dream of serving the Lord as a missionary. His target: Mexico.

Joshua began to have heart issues, and when he went to the doctor, the doctor explained the seriousness of his condition. But he wouldn’t be stopped. He took the medicine, but refused to let it keep him from the mission field.

His older brother pleaded with him to stay, but Joshua loved the Lord. When his brother was adamant about him not leaving Nigeria, Joshua snuck away, once in Mexico, he called his brother to let him know where he had gone. His brother wept and told us, “That was the moment I knew that Joshua loved God more than he loved me” And that was the moment, that I realized, Joshua loved God more than he loved his own body.

As months passed, I could see that Joshua was moving slower and slower, things that he used to do with ease, he did with what seemed to be all he could muster up in his energy. But I was blind, we were blind.

For whatever reason Joshua chose not to let his YWAM family in on his suffering must have stemmed from the same reason that he never told us of the many sufferings he sustained in his life. The man that I thought I knew was not the man he turned out to be at all.

The revelation I had during the memorial as we were read his story, and as the shock of what he had been going through health-wise began to make more sense. I realized something very precious that led me to repentance and many tears…

This is a story of the widows might.

That familiar story in the bible, that Jesus tells us of the rich men that gave quite a bit, and a lonely widow, who I can imagine slowly moving up the altar to give her few copper coins. And how my Jesus blew our minds when he showed us the truth of this story… That woman gave more than those men combined. Why? Because, she gave all that she had.

I began to think, when have I ever given all that I had to serve God even when I couldn’t breathe? Or through physical pain and tiredness that I can only imagine?

From the outside it might appear that I, and many of us, worked harder than he did. But truly, he surpassed us. And now he is in his glory with the king.

This has taught me many things, but one of the things that in my guilt and repentance I have sought to change in myself the most, is to not judge those around me, but to love.

I wish with all my heart that I could have loved him better, bore his burdens more, and most of all not judged him.

Things are not as they seem. There was once a time that I thought Joshua was the last person here that I could have learned from, and to my surprise, I have learned more from him than anyone.

This is a quote from Joshua, which he wrote on his facebook status on May 23^rd.

“The strongest people are those that love beyond all faults. Cry behind closed doors. And fight battles that nobody knows about”

For whatever reason, he believed what he was doing was right. Even when he felt those around him judging him, even when we put more work on him than he probably could have handled. In his loneliness, he was not lonely. He found his identity in his father, and drew his strength from him.

Goodbye my friend, thank you for what you have taught me. May I see people for what is truth under what is perceived, may I love beyond all faults. May I perceive when people cry behind closed doors and help them to fight the battles nobody knows about. I love you.

Thirsty

I got back from leading our two month mission trip for the January DTS, and tried to settle back into the beautiful life of missions I live here in Mexico.

Weeks went by, and I went through the motions, day after day. Little did I realize my heart was dried up, little did I realize just how hungry and thirsty I was for my father in heaven.

As a missionary, this is the biggest mistake we make. We pour and pour and sometimes forget to take a sip ourselves. How many times must I learn this lesson?

I started noticing my lack of passion in the last couple weeks, but it didn't even go through my brain that maybe something was wrong. So I just kept going through the motions... I serve that cup of cold water because it is what I do, but I was losing the passion in the serving of it.

Until two nights ago, when my daddy so graciously spoke to me... "You are thirsty"

OH... sweet words to hear from my papa. To realize all I needed was him. So there I sat in his presence after a simple prayer "give me a heart of flesh again instead of this heart of stone... this heart that I have let dry up."

I don't want to just do missions because I know it's what he loves. I don't want to feed someone who is hungry because I ought to. NO. I want to do it because it would hurt me more NOT to. That my daddy's heart would pound inside of my own chest for all those that I see.
That his passion would ooze through my pores to love the way he loves.

And there is only one way to have your heart aligned in that way with the father... Spending time with his presence... Being soaked in his love for me until there I can do nothing more but pour him out again.


Daddy, help me not forget this again.

The arrow of truth

Having finished up sixth week of outreach, and coming to Jamaica to finish out this two month long mission, I truly have no idea where to start to tell you of the things that God has done.

I think the biggest thing that has changed inside of me in the last two months, is realizing where my strength comes from, not only my strength, but my every breath.

The conditions that we've lived in the last two months have tested where we truly draw our strength and love from. Bathing in rivers, and only a couple hours of sleep a night at times among other things,  eventually starts to wear on you.

As a leader I have discovered that you cannot make 16 people happy all at the same time. (Maybe that comes as a surprise to some people, hehe) Some will love the pace of ministry and work while it's killing the other half. Some may be so excited about a certain meal while others would rather die than eat it. Some may think your decision on something is right while others think you're a lunatic. But, inevitably I have been tested with my identity. Where do I draw my identity from? From what others think of me, or from my father in heaven? This has been a beautiful growing experience for me, to learn how to hear the Lord's voice and follow it no matter what that makes others think.

Yes, I'm growing up :)

I want to share a picture with you

This is a picture I took of one of my students and a homeless man. We were cleaning up the beach and picking up trash, when my student felt that she was to go tell this man that Jesus loved him. 

She approached him and said, "sir, I just felt that I was supposed to come and tell you that Jesus loves you very much. 

The man smiled slowly and said, "I know him... He is my friend"

My student, admittedly a little confused said to him "but, do you know he gave his life for you? Have you accepted him into your heart? Have you given him your life?"

The man smiled bigger now, and said: "My dear... I know him. I talk to him all the time. He gives me MY life."

The student walked away from him and came up to me with tears in her eyes... "I've never had as much Joy as that man... And he has nothing." I smiled, because I know this mans secret... It is the secret I have learned myself... The secret Paul learned and spoke so fondly of.

The Joy of knowing the saviour, truly knowing him. Speaking to him often, drawing our energy, strength, love from Him.

It is how one can be content with any food, any clothing, any climate. To be rich or poor, to be hungry or fed.. The secret is that it's not about any of the things of this world, but the one our hearts were made for. The Joy of knowing our Lord. I promise you that this is not a fairytale.

There is a love that is so strong, a bond between the saviour and you that is so real and intense, that being free or in prison is no matter, no earthly circumstances can shake the Joy. 

It is what our hearts were made for.

I encourage you to talk to the one that brings Joy that surpasses circumstance as often as you can today, and tomorrow... and the next day. You were made for him, to walk with him and share this life with him. You will never see the beauty of that secret until you become more intimate with him. 

He loves you. 

Outreach craziness

Wow, I can't believe that it's already been three weeks in Costa Rica!!

God has done some AMAZING things already, but the best part is watching my students being transformed more and more each day.
We just got home from the mountains, where we served at a kids camp for a week. We were able to work on one of the cabins, and bless the camp in that, as well as work with the kids and show them more about Jesus and his love. :)

I'd like to share three short videos of some of the miracles that we've already seen so far on outreach! They can be viewed here:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/hobmro8splvvzje/IMG_2236.MOV

https://www.dropbox.com/s/t75bffyssaumt13/IMG_2266.MOV

https://www.dropbox.com/s/3j93pl6jg63q8j2/IMG_2277.MOV

This next week we are going to a small village in the mountains. VERY excited to see what God has in store for us and for those we get to show his love to!

Thanks for all your supoprt and love!!!

Outreach

We've been in Costa Rica for almost a week now, and it's been crazy amazing!

We've been working with the YWAM base here to fulfill a vision they have over Costa Rica.
They have a heart to put a bible in every single home in the country.

So our team has been going door to door, and praying for people after we give them a bible.

So far, five people have been healed!!! One person was blind in one eye, another had a limp from breaking their leg three times in the same place, two of them had stomach pain, and the last one was a woman who couldn't breathe well since having a heart attack!


We serve a powerful God!!


It's been so beautiful to watch our team growing closer in love and doing things that bless our fathers heart!! :)

Here are some pictures of what we've been doing!

Nathan Goode

Well, as many of you know, I am engaged! I would like to take some time out and share with you the story of the wonderful guy that I'm going to marry. :)

I met Nathan April 23 of 2012, while doing an oureach here in Mexico. We became friends and discovered more and more how similar of hearts we have for the Lord and for life.

On September 25th we officialy began "courting" after FINALLY revealing our feelings for each other that we'd been keeping secret. ;)

Then on March 26th, he got down on one knee, and proposed to me on the same field we had our first dance. :)

I am so thankful to the Lord for bringing me a man with the same heart as mine to serve and love him with everything that we are. To go wherever he calls us, and lay our lives down for the sake of our king.

This is the beginning of a very great adventure with our father!

The adventure continues! But, now there are two. :)

Love

I heard it said that I could speak in the tongues of men and angels, but that I would just be noise if I didn't have love...

I heard it said that I could have the gift of Prophecy, seeing things nobody else sees, understanding deep spiritual things and knowing all there is to know, but that if I didn't have love, it meant nothing. 

I heard it said that I could have the greatest faith of anyone, even great enough to move a mountain from it's place and throw it into the sea, or to raise the dead, and heal the sick, but if I didn't have love... It would be for nothing. 

I heard it said that I could give everything I own to the poor, but that if I didn't have love, I gain nothing. 

I heard it said that I could be martyred for my faith, give my body to the flames, but if I didn't have love, it was all for nothing.

I am guessing, that love is more important. 

Love is being patient. Patient with those around you, not lashing out, not reacting to situations with anxiety, but calmness. 

Love doesn't want or envy what isn't theirs.

Love doesn't know pride, or think too highly of oneself. 

Love doesn't behave rudely, or unkind. In every situation, even stressful situation, even when people are getting under our skin, it is kind and doesn't lash out or speak unkindly. 

Love is not selfish, nor does it seek it's own. Love thinks of others before itself, and gives wholeheartedly. 

Love is not easily angered or provoked, doesn't lose it's temper. 

Love thinks the best of people, and doesn't judge.

Love doesn't think the worst, but rejoices in the truth.

Love can bear all things, and believes all things, and hopes all things, and endures everything. 

Love does not fail.

But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part.  But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

This same person said this:

 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

And so I now will put away childish things, and learn the most excellent way... A love that my savior walked in. Those other things are amazing things to see and to do, but I see how clearly I have missed the point if I forget love.

I see how damaging it would be if I walked in the greatness of those other things, but forgot the foundation of love... 

Love must be my foundation.

Faithfullness

Our father in heaven is so faithful. He spoke something to me, I chose to obey, and he came through... Just like he loves to do. In four days I raised 1,890.00 for outreach! There is only 410.00 left!!!

Daddy in heaven constantly surprised me and awes me at his faithfullness when we simply obey him.

I want to take this moment and thank all of you for your obedience to what he put on your heart to support me. It is a beautiful eb and flo in the kingdom, when all his children listen and obey his voice, and we get to see the beauty that is the body of Christ.

You are every bit a part of this adventure as I am, and receive every bit as much of the reward. Thank you for taking my hand!! Thank you for obedience to father God!


I feel his pleasure in us. :)

Leadership

As many of you know,  I have been asked, along with my good friend Luis,  to lead the 14 of our DTS students on outreach in April and May to Costa Rica, and Jamaica.

As I have been praying and asking God to give me the wisdom I need and his heart on how to lead the students, he has been teaching and showing me so much.

I worked out the budget for the trip, and it was really way too high for a lot of them. The price was about 3,700.00 per student. We met with the leaders and we brainstormed on what we could do to get that price to come down. Just so you have some background on how it works with these schools, all of us staff are full-time non paid missionaries, we raise our own support for the cost of living and working here. As staff of DTS, we are committed to the whole 5 months of the school, and the leaders pray about who to have lead the outreach phase. Because of this, and the fact that it's not really a choice, the price of the staff leading the outreach is split among the students.

As we looked over the budget, there weren't any places we could make cuts. One of the leaders felt while praying that God would give Luis and I the answer to what we were to do with this, even if that meant changing location. As I prayed about it, I knew exactly what God was asking me to do, and to be honest, I was fighting in my flesh with it a bit. God was asking me to relieve the students of my costs, by raising the total amount of the outreach for my cost. Being that I already live by faith, it was a difficult thing to know he was asking me to step that up once again, and to get in the same line with my students and believe in faith alongside of them for the money we need.

As I was praying, I felt like Jesus was speaking to me about how he lead. He was God, but humbled himself and lived among us, served us, and ultimately laid his life down for us. He was asking me if I would do the same for my students, and get in line alongside of them, lead by example, and be the first to step out on the water. That is how my father wants me to lead.

As I brought this to my co-leader, he felt that God was asking him to have my back in this, and so he has decided to do the exact same thing. This brings the total cost down,  so that each of us need to raise $2,300.00


So I am writing this because I need you to prayerfully consider walking with me in this, getting into line with my students and I to step out on the water and believe that every penny of this will be raised in time! We need to buy plane tickets yesterday, we only have four weeks left before we leave for two months, and plane tickets are the biggest thing we need to buy right now. The cost of plane tickets are 1,400.00 as it stands right now.

That amount might scare some people, but there is power when many people come together, all that would take is 23 of my friends giving $100.00. Or if God is pressing on your heart to give more than that, please do! I am asking you to take my hand in this, and be a part of the amazing things that God wants to do in my life, my students' lives, and in Costa Rica and Jamaica, in the lives of those precious people in those countries.


When you give, you also share in our reward!!

God bless you :)

"Stay connected to me"

God has revolutionized my relationship with him in only one short year. Things that I had thought I would never find freedom from, I have forgotten what it even felt like to be in the bondage of. Fear melts away more and more each day, and I feel as though I could face anything that comes.

I was talking to a student that I disciple the other day, when God was able to use what he has taught me in this last year, to put together something for her she wasn't able to connect before. And as I was speaking to her, I realized... What God has taught me this year, is a truth so deep it needs to be shared.

So here I go...


I have always taken my questions to God. Which job should I take, which guys should I date, where should I live as a missionary, should I marry him, should I go here, should I do that, blah blah blah.
I have always been terrified of the silence that often ensued in my questioning... Did this God care to answer me? Did he care what I did and what I chose? I was always mocked with a short sentence I would feel him say to me over and over again, and it was never the answer to my question.
It usually went something like this, "I love you, abide in me", "Stay connected to me", "stay focused on me", "Rest in me, Charissa"

I mean... talk about disappointing. Here I am on the verge of the biggest decision in my life, and he doesn't even answer my question... Or did he?

For some reason, last year I decided to stop fighting against his gentle whispers of intimacy, and go with it. To trust him no matter what it cost me, and to simply do as he asked me to when I came to him.
I began to put my questions on the back burner, and follow his answers.

What happened turned my world upside down.


It was as if I began to walk toward the sun, and all the fear, worry, anxiety, sin, bitterness, frustration, and even my endless sea of questions, began to melt away. How true it is.... that before his face, questions die away.


It was as if my problems and worries... Even those things that seemed to be important decisions and questions, became so utterly small and insignificant. It was as if my questions died away in the presence of my king.

As I did this more and more, a funny thing began to happen... I began to intuitively know the answers to the questions I had been asking. "Yes, I should go here. No, I shouldn't date that guy, Yes, I should move my life in this direction" Things became very clear without a striving to hear an answer from a God who lived somewhere up in the sky, but rather from within, I felt him answer my questions with a surety I never thought I'd have.

Our father doesn't live outside of us, he has chosen to live inside! And when we draw near to him and stay connected to him... It's almost as if he directs me all day long in the way that I should go.
There is a peace that I live in, a Joy I have found that I had never known existed, and nobody ever talked about.

We go to God to ask these questions because we are trying to control our world, so that we can be happy and have Joy. If we get his answer for our questions, we believe they will make us happiest, cause he will give us the best answer... The only problem with that, is our Joy and Happiness never came from the world anyway...

You see, he was answering a question I didn't even know I was asking... When I was asking him for direction, it was to remain in his will, to make the best decision, SO THAT I could have peace, Joy, and Happiness. My question was really, "How can I have peace, Joy, and Happiness"

And he answered. "stay connected to me," "I love you, abide in me," "rest in me, my love."

Oh, we are such blind children sometimes...


Our Joy cannot come from this world, or our circumstances... We will NOT have peace in this world... Trials come our way ALL the time. I think of the people in the countries that are being tortured for their faith and are imprisoned for it... And yet, they have a peace, Joy, and Happiness that few people in the western world have ever experienced! Why? Because they know the secret...

The secret is... HE is where our Joy comes from. And when we are remaining in him, connected to him, abiding in him, it wouldn't matter WHAT came our way... it couldn't take our peace, it couldn't take our joy.

Jesus promised we would have troubles in this world, and he invited us to remain connected to him so that we would overcome the world, and experience true life.


I hope that you can see what I now see.

my crazy life!

Hello from Mexico! The last couple months have been so busy! But, it has been amazing to walk alongside of the 15 students that we are discipling and to see the Lord reveal to them so many truths. These students are learning what it means to follow Jesus, and what his heart is for them and for this world.  I have been asked to lead the 15 of them, along with one other staff member, on outreach to Costa Rica and Jamaica in just 5 weeks!! I am really blessed to be trusted and given this huge responsiblity and blessing of taking the Kingdom of God to other countries, and seeing the Lord work through the students! The Lord has been teaching me so much about abiding in him in the last few months. It can be so tiring to work in this school. God has shown me the importance of relying on him for my strength, and spending time with him in order to have something to give. I've grown a lot in the last few months, and I am learning to trust and lean on father God in ways I haven't had to before. I know that outreach will challenge me even more in that area as I lead in a way I have not had to lead before.  God is trusting me with more, and it requires more time with him and more of his strength! I will write more about that in the next blog, I want to explain it more! But, this is just a small update to show you what has been going on, and some pictures for you to see!      This is my small group. Amazing girls! From left to right we have a Norwegian, Canadian, Danish,             and Australian girl! Lots of beautiful faces :)                            This is us on the first day of the first house we built together as a group.                                           They are very precious :)  Painting the inside of the house!                                                                                    Starting on the roof! What a beautiful day it was :)                                            The inside of the kitchen!! All done :)                                              We got to take the family shopping and spoil them :)

Once again

I posted about love recently, and I feel that it's all that God is showing me recently. So I am posting about it again, in hopes to encourage and open our eyes once again to the most vital thing that we will undertand in our life.

Love is a commitment to do what is best for the person you are loving. Jesus said that even sinners "love" those that "love" them. But as Christians, we are called to love those who are not loving toward us!

Love is not an emotional feeling. Love is actions, a choice, decisions you make to put another above yourself. To do what is in the best interest of the other person. To think what you would want if you were that person! So many people think they'll fallen in love, but what they've done is fallen into an attraction. Love is something so much more beautiful and deep... It is the choice to always put another person above yourself. How many of us do that? Truly?

So, once again:

LOVE

I have been thinking about this topic and trying to understand it most of my life. What is love? What does it feel like? What does it look like?

I'm still young, but I feel that life has taught me rather quickly through many trials and painful experiences just what this is supposed to look like. What true love is and what the world has tried to pass off as a sad excuse for the word.

I often quote a couple sayings that I've picked up along my journey, that really have shaped what I believe love is. One of them says, "you can like a person because of who they are, but you love a person because of who YOU are."

Love is a position, an action, a decision. You become love and are therefore able to love another. The bible says love is patient, kind, good, doesn't envy or boast, isn't proud or rude or self-seeking....
Love isn't self-seeking.... It always perseveres.

Not many of these traits of love are seen in this world today, not even in the church. We've lost the vision of what it means to love a person. we often "fall out of love" in this culture, and divorce is just as common in the church now as it is out of the church. We don't even understand marriage, we expect our partner to fulfill the deep needs in us for love, instead of going into it with the understanding that we are called to serve and lovethem. So for so many of us, our love is selfish. We want the easy way, the emotions that make it easy to treat someone the way that we are called to treat them. We find it easy to love those who are loving toward us, but do we step it up when they are NOT loving toward us and love them still the same? Treat them kindly when they haven't treated us that way? Refused to give up on them?

The only way to understand love is to look at the one who IS love, Jesus Christ.  It's really heartbreaking to me to know that if we have so much trouble truly loving the ones that should be easiest to love, how would we do with our enemies? Jesus loved those and forgave those who were murdering him.

Love truly is a position, an attitude that we become. We learn to love, and i think that the only person we can learn to love from is the one who is love.

I've been reading this book called "tortured for Christ". It's a book written by the founder of an organization that brings awareness of the persecuted church... This man spent 14 years being tortured in a communist prison in Romania for Jesus. The stories he tells are incredible and horrifying... And so very real for a very large part of the body of Christ. Though, as I have read this book I see something that we western world Christians cannot fathom... They learn to love those who are torturing them. The stories that he tells of how they were able to love those and serve those who killed their own family members or tortured them, are so very inspiring to me.

Love is more than we have made it to be. And this world is in desperate need for the true love that we are called to become.

But the deepest revelation I have had about love is not in the understanding what it is, but in understanding where we go to get it, become it, and live it. 

There is only one source for our need of love, and that is God. If you would have told me that a year ago I would have laughed. I did not believe that and struggled with understanding how an unseen God could fill the gaping hole in my soul and that deep need for love.

It was not until I really understood that no person would ever satisfy my soul, that I began to pursue my father in heaven for that need... And to my astonishment, was satisfied.  And it has freed me to love those around me without needing back from them. It has freed me to actually love.

More and more everyday I understand what the looks like and become more of what my father created me to be. Not taking but giving to others, thinking about how I can serve and love them instead of how I can get my need for love met. Every day I grow in this, and it's only going to get better.


SO this is my encouragement: Get to know the God who is love, get your need for that love met in him.
Because we are called to serve and give to those around us, and the only way we can do that is if we are being filled by the one who can give us what we need to pour out.


I pray he gives you this revelation so that you may understand this beautiful truth.