Thirsty

I got back from leading our two month mission trip for the January DTS, and tried to settle back into the beautiful life of missions I live here in Mexico.

Weeks went by, and I went through the motions, day after day. Little did I realize my heart was dried up, little did I realize just how hungry and thirsty I was for my father in heaven.

As a missionary, this is the biggest mistake we make. We pour and pour and sometimes forget to take a sip ourselves. How many times must I learn this lesson?

I started noticing my lack of passion in the last couple weeks, but it didn't even go through my brain that maybe something was wrong. So I just kept going through the motions... I serve that cup of cold water because it is what I do, but I was losing the passion in the serving of it.

Until two nights ago, when my daddy so graciously spoke to me... "You are thirsty"

OH... sweet words to hear from my papa. To realize all I needed was him. So there I sat in his presence after a simple prayer "give me a heart of flesh again instead of this heart of stone... this heart that I have let dry up."

I don't want to just do missions because I know it's what he loves. I don't want to feed someone who is hungry because I ought to. NO. I want to do it because it would hurt me more NOT to. That my daddy's heart would pound inside of my own chest for all those that I see.
That his passion would ooze through my pores to love the way he loves.

And there is only one way to have your heart aligned in that way with the father... Spending time with his presence... Being soaked in his love for me until there I can do nothing more but pour him out again.


Daddy, help me not forget this again.