That one ache.

I only ever write when I'm sad.

Either in my journal, blog, or a song. I write when I am sad. I feel bad about that, because it appears I'm a very emotionally tortured person. But, let me assure you... I only write when I am sad, which means the rest of the time... I am very happy...

But, tonight I am sad.

I feel that old stupid ache. Wondering why life is so hard. Not for me, I am not complaining... I am feeling sad for a friend. A friend who feels that ache of life. And I don't know how to help.

I want to make it all better. Make it all go away. Make it perfect.

I wish I could be his father, and show him how proud I am of him. Wish I could be his mother, and hold him and nurture him. I wish I could be his brother, and just hang out with him. I wish I could give up what I have if it meant he'd have it.

Why does life have to be so gray? To hurt so much?

Why are there so many sad people? So many lonely people? So many people who don't even know which way to start walking.

Lord have mercy on us. Lord show us your power again. Even though we don't deserve it. Even though we don't even truly seek it out.

I know nothing. I have no answers. I have no solution for any of this. I am too, just a person who is crying out to the God in heaven to light a way out of the dark, and I believe he will answer that plea.

So I will make it:

Creator....

Mercy, mercy, mercy. I beg you for healing and purpose.

I beg you to make yourself known to this world, here and now. That you wouldn't be a still small voice, especially with those who are hurting, but that you would be the stubborn lover like with Paul, where you wouldn't let him go the way he wanted but forced him to listen with your power and glory. You didn't hide yourself or stay silent. You made yourself known. You did the same with Moses and the burning bush, and you spoke loud and clear. Poppa, please... Show my broken generation that you care about us. That you want us. That you are who you are, and that you are there. Don't be silent. Speak loud and clear. Save us from ourselves and from the pains of this world.

I need you. He needs you. They need you.

Amen